Beautiful

Hi! You’re beautiful! Did you know that? I hope you did. You deserve to hear it everyday. You deserve to tell yourself that you are handsome, fierce, good looking, beautiful, pretty, stunning, iconic, soooo fetch, whatever positive, affirming phrases or adjectives you want to use on any given day. “Because you are beautiful no matter what they say” but sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty through you’re own self doubt, your own insecurities and even your own negatively tinted view of the world in general. Am I constantly looking in the mirror and telling myself that I am flawless? Aw, hell no! But we all need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes because, on top of surviving every day of our lives so far and every single mini battle, trial and failure that we’ve faced in life, we are all human and to be flawed is part of being human. No one, and I mean literally no one, is perfect. And, as much as we aim for perfection and flawlessness, it will never be enough to get anyone there. We will always further our perception of perfection so it is, and forever will be, beyond our reach. The goal for models was once size 0 and, once that was achieved, 00 became the new 0 (What? O.o). So remind yourself that those people who look physically flawless in your eyes, may not even see themselves as beautiful because their standards of beauty are different and, in certain industries, is set so damn high.

What is beauty?

The literal definition is a combination of qualities, such as shape,colour,or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. Right, let’s run with this shall we? Qualities that please the aesthetic senses…but what happens if I live for a goth aesthetic and someone else adores their pastel aesthetic. Immediately, we have contrasting concepts of beauty. What if I love heart shapes and someone else prefers squares? Again, more contrasting concepts of beauty. So by definition the word beauty is unique to each individual even if you are a heart loving goth or a square loving pastel dream. But if you ask the internet what the real meaning of beauty is it all boils down to a person’s nature and disposition. It goes on to say that a person who has a good heart and a kind soul who may not be that physically attractive to you is a more beautiful person than a physically attractive person with an ugly heart and selfish nature. It’s the lesson of not judging a person by their appearance. Everyone’s definition of beauty is skewed depending on their perceptions of the world and the people around them and also their personal preferences but that doesn’t mean that we should only consider people by how good natured they are. As a race, we are biologically programmed to look for physical features that are attractive in order to produce attractive offspring and continue on humanity as a whole. I could go on but I’d be here a very, very long time; simply put, we use the phrase ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ for a reason.

Jesy Nelson

Jesy Nelson is, in part, the inspiration for this post. Lately, Jesy and someone who has too much time on her hands (who googles her own name and would probably come for my head if I mention her by name) appeared in the media. Said person described Jesy’s near daily posts on Instagram as desperate and weak asking women to be better than being proud of their bodies and their personal achievements, and having the strength to show their bodies after years of being self conscious about their size… Before Jesy’s stellar weight loss, said ‘media personality’ dubbed Little Mix ‘Packet Mix’ and ‘Pick n Mix’ due to Jesy’s size at the time – wow. Now, in my opinion, what we can see here is one of those people who’s not very beautiful on the inside that was mentioned earlier. You can’t have both; so if you are going to be derogatory about both kindly keep your opinions to yourself; no one cares what you think anyway darling. Personally, I think Jesy looks stunning regardless of her size and brava Jesy for an excellent clap back. “Have another one hun ;)”

Even guys are subject to physical scrutiny. 

You don’t need a six pack to be attractive. There I said it! It’s not a surprise. What good is a six pack? What does it do other than prove that a guy spends a lot of time at a gym or taking care of his diet and calorie intake. If he wants to look like that, more power to him; that definition takes time and dedication: Bravo sir! I’m sure some people see that as an added bonus but I’d rather have a guy in my life who could sit down eat Five Guys til he’s fit to burst and not worry about how much time he needs spend burning off the extra calories. But that’s just me. Some women compare potential dates to the severely dehydrated, extra buff torsos of Hollywood actors who dedicate hours in the gym to their physique with a personal trainer and dietitians to maximize their physical gains. That is not naturally there; that takes a lot of time and money. So, maybe, cut the guys some slack. They’re trying their best just like everyone else.

Who say you’re not perfect?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt

Trust me, I know what it’s like when you look in the mirror and see all the flaws. But, the thing is, we’re not trying to attract ourselves. Beauty is so many different things but most of all it’s being a good person with a dash of confidence and, if you don’t have any confidence, stand tall, shoulders back and fake it til you make it. You are someone’s very definition of beauty and there is someone out there who wishes they had your hair, your nose, your eyes, your smile. Body confidence is hard enough to hold onto without yourself and anyone else, who thinks their opinion matters, having a go at you in the process. The people who try to degrade you are probably the most insecure people and, if those people decide to comment on your appearance, you have the choice to accept or decline what they say.

Yes, I know, it’s exceptionally difficult not to judge people by how they look but our first thought is what we are conditioned to believe. The thought immediately after, however, defines you as an individual. That thought could make you a beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside. All I ask is that people remember, that the people we see on the street and judge solely on their looks are dealing with things everyday, beneath the facade they put up in public, that we know nothing about. Just try be kind. Always.