Sorry

I know I let you down, I’m sorry , I’m sorry for the things I’ve done

Wild Youth, Chemicals.

I can almost guarantee that is a song you will never hear but it is the Wild Youth song that has the right lines for this post (Benefits of #ThatGigLife). Almost everyone, from Celine Dion to Wheezer, has a song apologizing for something. Sorry is a word that gets thrown around a lot but the hardest part is figuring out if people genuinely mean it when they say it. Sorry is five letters that can fix something or break it beyond repair if used incorrectly (and there’s plenty of ways to use the word incorrectly). Some people overuse it, others don’t use it at all. It can be a way to let someone down gently. It’s a way to express sympathy. A way to excuse yourself. But do you really need the word sorry for those moments? Saying sorry as a sympathetic gesture is all well and good but sympathy’s best expressed through actions rather than words. Sympathy is the warm handshakes and hugs, the willing listener and the comforting presence not just the word sorry because, after all is said and done, it’s just a word. For those receiving an apology, sorry might be just an empty word. It’s there and then what you’re expected to do is absolve the person of their guilt because of this one word. Sorry can’t do anything to make you feel better, the only thing that can help is time and ‘time heals all wounds’ and all that jazz but it doesn’t mean you won’t have a few scars. Sorry doesn’t heal those. In all honesty, I think sorry is really for the person saying it, not for the person hearing it. We should never feel obligated to accept an apology if we feel it’s not enough. Perhaps a person will feel better saying sorry to someone they have wronged but no-one can dictate whether or not an apology is accepted. You can listen to an apology and feel that actions will prove a person’s sincerity or you can accept an apology as it is. That is ultimately up to you. I’m not encouraging anyone to hold a grudge for all eternity but, at the end of it all, if you are the one who was wronged, words may not be enough; if you were the person at fault, maybe you did more damage than words can fix. But, in either situation, I ask you to remember that forgiveness sometimes isn’t easily given, it has to be earned.

Yeah, I know that I let you down Is it too late now to say I’m sorry now?

Justin Bieber, Sorry

When is it too late to say sorry? Never. But the real question is ‘Will sorry always be enough?’ Simple answer: No. More complicated answer: No but to some people not apologizing soon enough means that a person has burned the bridge and there is no hope of repairing it. As with all things, it depends hugely on the person you’re dealing with. Now just because you say sorry doesn’t mean a person has to accept your apology, no matter how sincere it may be. Sometimes people just aren’t ready to accept an apology, no matter how long winded it may be, as reparation for actions and words done and said. That being said, there can be times when it’s too soon to say sorry; where apologizing quickly seems insincere, even if done with the best intentions. Apologizing just for the sake of apologizing will never fix anything. Apologies need to show that you have taken responsibility for what you have done, realised that it was wrong and that you wish to make amends. We also need to consider the whole concept of getting even, settling the score, revenge or whatever you want to call it. All I can say on this is that “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Yeah, revenge may be nice but we don’t know what troubles others are going through already. Do we really want to add to people’s problems? And who’s to say that these acts of revenge won’t affect other people who were in no way involved in the original issue and are completely innocent? Do we really need to get even? I’m a firm believer that karma will make things even again so we don’t need to settle the score, I’ve seen karma bite people on the ass right in front of my own eyes. And for those who are of a scientific mind: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Karma might be a bitch but it’s only a bitch if you are and it has a great sense of timing.

It’s sad, so sad, Why can’t we talk it over? Oh, it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Elton John, Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Sorry is a kindness we extend to others and it’s rarely said loudly. We generally mutter and mumble our way through ‘I’m sorry’s sometimes we don’t even say them, we write them down. Why do we hold back our sorrys? Are we afraid to admit that we, as humans, have done wrong? That we have made the mistake of, I don’t know,….being human? All people make mistakes and they are forgiven by whatever higher power they believe in and, if there is no higher power, people still need to be forgiven by those they have wronged. Guilty consciences are a bitch to most people when they have knowingly hurt or wronged people. The very fact that we are humans means we make mistakes and we need to accept that as human beings others will make mistakes too or disappoint us. We should never be afraid to admit our mistakes or afraid to ask for forgiveness or help earning that forgiveness, if necessary. But we should also try to forgive as best we can; learn to forgive others and ourselves and try learning from our failings.There are enough grudges and hatred in the world already; it would do us no harm to forgive minute failings and focus on fixing bigger, more pressing issues. We all have to live here together, we might as well make the whole thing a bit easier in the long run. As Alexander Pope said, “To err is human; to forgive divine.”